To Schedule Your Baby or Not?

This is an article from a recent Above Rubies magazine written by a mom in the same place as a lot of mom's out there. What do you do with your baby as far as getting them to sleep, eat, etc? Should you schedule them or nurse on demand? I hope the following story helps for lots of you out there with new babies or ones on the way!
PS-The books/manuals she mentions are all available through the Above Rubies website (tab on the right) or if you live near me, I have them (and many others) and would love to lend them to you!

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Baby Three Changed my Heart!

I was pregnant with my second child when a friend loaned me The Power of Motherhood. “You’re a fast reader, so read this and tell me what you think,” she said. I dutifully skimmed the book but returned it with a mental, “Thanks, but no thanks, I have a mothering system.” You see, I had read a book about scheduling and getting your babies to sleep through the night--man’s wisdom on parenting. I rigidly followed this schedule which involved letting your baby cry it out to teach the child to sleep.
My first child, Kaiser, slept through the night at six weeks. He was also fully weaned by that time, but he cried a lot to achieve that. The chapter in The Power of Motherhood titled “Mothers are Nurturers” especially grated me. I was convinced that this scheduling method was the way I’d mother all my children.
I read in that chapter from Isaiah 66:10-13, “That you may suck, and be satisfied with the breasts of her consolations: that you may milk out and be delighted with the abundance of her glory. For thus saith the Lord, Behold I will extend peace to her like a river, and the Gentiles like a flowing stream: then shall ye suck, ye shall be borne upon her sides and be dandled upon her knees. As one whom his mother comforts, so will I comfort you; and ye shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” Nancy followed by saying “Nursing is…total mothering to meet every need of the child…to satisfy, delight, console and comfort.” I was not moved. This way of mothering was not for me!
God gave us baby number two, my little redhead named Hudson. I scheduled him and he slept through the night at six weeks, self-soothing by sucking his thumb. I did manage to nurse him until he was 15 months old. This scheduling was so easy; baby number three would be no problem.
Baby number three arrived, my first little girl, Adeline. I tried to schedule her for the first three months of her life. But she would not be scheduled! She began to NOT sleep! She slept no longer than 45 minutes at a time 24 hours a day. She wanted to sleep with me! A big no-no according to the book. I was reeling! What had happened? Why wasn’t this working?
I was a mess due to the lack of sleep, but God finally had my attention. To save my sanity, I stopped trying to schedule and began to nurse when she needed me. Wonder of wonders, she began to sleep better, though she didn’t sleep through the night until she was five years old!
I began to study the Bible, seeking God’s wisdom. God brought me back to the Isaiah 66 passage and I got it! It had been three years since I had read this passage, but finally I understood. The beauty of mothering by offering my breast for comfort, nourishment and nurturing brought peace to my soul. I was and am at rest.
Hindsight is always 20/20. Mothering my first two children, I was selfish and controlling. I didn’t want to lose sleep! The book said to let the baby cry. Slowly, I became numb to his cries and my heart turned to stone. Even my husband would ask to pick up the crying baby to rock and comfort him, but I said, “No, the book says…”
After Addie, I pressured my husband into scheduling a vasectomy. He was reluctant as he wanted more children, but because I was such a mess, he agreed. A couple of days before the consultation, I read Isaiah 66 again. God used that to not only change my mothering but to open me up to the possibility of more children. We cancelled the appointment and eventually began to study the manual, Be Fruitful and Multiply.
We began to understand God’s plan for families as we went through each Scripture. I wept for the children I had missed out on by controlling my womb. I began to realize my lack of submission to God and my husband. My husband began to understand his role in leading the house. He now has a vision to change the world through godly children.
Since then, God has added two more blessings to our home. At one year, Haven is still nursing strong, day and night! She sleeps in a co-sleeper attached to our bed, and snuggles in an Ergo by day. Addie and Isaiah both nursed until they were almost three years old and weaned only after I got pregnant.
Mothering this way is such a beautiful picture of the love of God! Is it always easy? NO! With every baby I learn more about dying to my self. But, knowing my breasts comfort my little ones brings much peace to me. Now my husband has the opportunity to comfort and rock his little ones too!
LISA FALK
Plainville, Illinois, USA
dltalk@adams.net
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it


I started off scheduling my babies too. It wasn’t until baby number four, who refused to schedule and refused to sleep through the night until he was comforted at the breast, that I, too, changed to the Isaiah 66 way of mothering. Nancy Campbell
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End note-No mention is made about the benefits of demand nursing and natural baby spacing. It really does work if you know one important thing: You don't want your baby to sleep through the night! It's not that bad though if your baby co-sleeps and just nurses when he needs too. You learn to nurse in your sleep and I actually get more sleep this way then if i have to get out of bed to nurse. Click on the labels to the right for Breastfeeding, Natural Baby Spacing or Birth Control if you want to know more about how this works!~G

WHAT KIND OF CHILDREN?

I have read studies that say at the rate Christian's are producing children in our culture today, our religion will die out within so many generations (I can't remember the number). In contrast to that, Muslim is the #1 fastest growing religion. The reason their religion is growing so much is not because of evangelism but because they have an average of 6 children per family who are then going on to produce many more Muslims. The average "christian American" family has the same number of children as non-christian Americans, which is around 2. Why is this? Why don't we look different than our culture? The easiest and most obvious way to advance the kingdom of God is to produce godly offspring. If we as Christians will quit trying to control our every decision in life, including when and how many children we have, then God can use us for his glory. Isn't that what we are on this earth for? The first commandment (dubbed The Genesis Charge) the Lord gives us in the bible is, "Be fruitful and multiply, and replinish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." Genesis 1:27-28 Why is it that we feel compelled to obey all of God's other commandments but overlook or ignore this one, the 1st one (study the bible to learn more about God's Laws of First and their importance)! This commandment does apply to each and every person who is married and follows the Lord. And we don't just have to accomplish this with blood offspring, there are many children who need a godly family to adopt them. So, are you doing your part to replinish the earth with godly offspring?

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By Nancy Campbell - Above Rubies

Malachi 2:15 RSV, "Has not the one God made and sustained for us the spirit of life? And what does he desire? Godly offspring. So take heed to yourselves and let none be faithless to the wife of his youth. For I hate divorce, says the Lord the God of Israel."

God reveals His heart about marriage in the above Scripture. He wants the wife and husband to be one. He wants them to be faithful to one another. He does not want them to be divorced. And He makes His reason for saying this very clear. The disruption of marriage tampers with the godly offspring. The thing that God looks for in marriage more than anything else is godly children. This is His heart's desire. He looks eagerly for the coming children. This is His plan for marriage.

It is the nature of God to want children in His image. And because we were made in the likeness and image of God, it is inherent in mankind to want to have children in our image. We long to see who they will be like. And yet we now live in a distorted age. Couples have been so brainwashed by humanist deception that they often refuse to have children, or at least limit how many they have. They live counter-culture to God's kingdom and to their own instinctive design. While they live to their own desires, God waits with patience to see children born in His image. Grandparents wait to continue the godly dynasty.

Each new precious baby is created in the image of God and He wants His image multiplied in the earth.

But even more challenging is that it is not just offspring that God looks for. No, it is godly offspring. The margin in my Bible says, "the seed of God." What kind of children are the seed of God? It is even more challenging again when we find that the Hebrew word is elohim. As you know, the name Elohim is one of the names of God, the first name that God introduces himself to us in Genesis 1:1. This is only one name of God and it occurs 2,570 times in the Bible.

Elohim is used 35 times in Genesis 1:1 to 2:4 revealing God's creative and governing power. He created this vast universe by His spoken word. Elohim is the one who brought "cosmos out of chaos, light out of darkness, habitation out of desolation, and life in His image." (Nathan Stone) Because we are created in His image, we also have the ability to create. God has put into our mouths the power of the spoken word. We can minister life or death by our tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) God wants us (and each new babe that is born) to create and speak for His kingdom and His glory. He wants the godly offspring to fill the earth with His words, His truth and His character.

Elohim also reveals God as a covenant keeping God. There are many Scriptures revealing this but here are a few.
Genesis 17:7, "I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God (Elohim) unto thee, and to thy seed after thee."

Genesis 9:15-17, "And I will remember my covenant... And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature..."

On Joseph's death bed he said, "God will surely visit you, and bring you out of this land unto the land which he sware to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob." (Genesis 50:24)

When Solomon dedicated the temple he prayed, "There is no God like thee, in heaven above, or on earth beneath, who keepest covenant and mercy with thy servants that walk before thee with all their heart." (1 Kings 8:23)

Elohim is a covenant-keeping God. He wants us to also manifest covenant keeping. This is how we reveal the image of Elohim. He wants each godly offspring to be a covenant-keeper. It is interesting that God talks about the godly seed coming forth in the context of a covenant keeping marriage. Malachi 2:14 RSV says, "The Lord was witness to the covenant between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant."

It is not having lots of children that will solve the world's problems. It is having godly children who will impact the nations for God. May God enable us to welcome the godly seed and train them to truly reveal the character of Elohim. There is no career that can come anywhere the enormity and power of this vision.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

"Oh God, please help me to be a faithful covenant-keeper and to train my children to be the same."

AFFIRMATION:

I have the awesome privilege to raise the "seed of God."

Birth Control and Natural Family Spacing

This may not be of interest to everyone out there but I ran across this post i wrote on another blog several years ago. This is kind of our "how we do things" story.

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"Children are a gift from the Lord. They are his reward... Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127 3, 5a
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Here is my story of letting go of control in family size and spacing babies.




For most women out there the thought of not knowing when and how many children they will have is scary, or worse, having too many and too close together, is worse! We want to be "ready" and not surprised by His little blessings.





I have always said, since i was young, that i wanted 6 children and of course every one laughed, but i see now that the Lord was preparing me for what He had in store. After our 2nd child was born, I read "A Full Quiver" by Rick & Jan Hess and "Be Fruitful and Multiply" by Nancy Campbell (both of which i recommend and have to lend out if anyone is interested). These books lay out a Biblical approach to family size and spacing. I also read a secular book called "Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing" by Sheila Kippley and learned mainly what not to do, like use pacifiers and let your baby sleep through the night too early (by letting your baby be nourished and comforted through nursing on demand). The Lord really tugged at my heart to let go of trying to control when and how many children we would have. So, we decided to let go and just see what happened only using demand breastfeeding as a natural birth control.





Ok, so i thought, "here we go, I am going to have one baby right after another because everyone says breastfeeding does not work to space babies." I had given God control, but in my mind, doubted Him by assuming i would turn up pregnant any day. I went through countless pregnancy tests because i was just sure i was pregnant every few weeks.


FYI-I started my cycles back at 6 months of age after our 1st baby, but he used a pacifier, was on a schedule, and started solid foods at 4 months, which i know now, contributed to ovulating earlier. When he was 12 months, "we" decided we were ready to have another baby, which made them 21 months apart. Not that i would trade anything or that it won't happen again, but i had a really hard time adjusting to 2 babies that close together.


So back to my original story, months kept going by and i wasn't pregnant. I couldn't believe it! I thought God gave every woman who "let go" lots of babies one after the next. How foolish i was to assume God didn't know what was best for our family! He knows how much space needs to be in between each child and He won't give us more that we can handle or afford, because they are all his anyway. It's when we "control" things on our own, that we may make things harder for ourselves. My 2nd son was 19 months old when i finally had a cycle (by demand nursing this long most women will have 1-3 infertile cycles). The next cycle was fertile, and we got pregnant. So the spacing was 2 years and 4.5 months, far better than i could have "planned" to space them. And i have to say that adjusting to 3 children was by far easier, than having just one and then two.


God truly showed me how loving and caring He is about little old me and my family. He knows best! Only God knows how many more children we will have, but i hope it's lots. I can not imagine being "done" and never feeling a baby move inside me again or kissing and smelling a beautiful baby head, but whatever the Lord has in store, He will prepare us and provide. Children are truly a gift from God and will one day grow up to serve Him. How exciting to be part of that! How can I deny God my womb, when it isn't mine to begin with.





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Addition- After our 3rd child was born, our story was a little different. I began my cycles when she was around 13 months but did not conceive again until she was 19 months. How ever the Lord chooses to space our babies is His own will. In this case, i went a couple of months, got pregnant, then miscarried, went a few more months, then got pregnant again. The spacing was again around 2.5 years-perfect!

We have been blessed again, 1 year ago, with another baby girl. We now have 2 boys and 2 girls. Everyone tells us if they could choose what pattern to have their children in, this is how they would want it. Funny thing is, this was God's plan, not our own. We could never plan as well as He can!~

We still don't know when or how many children we will have. We just take life day-to-day and wait for the Lord.