The Very First Lesson...

The email I received is titled, "The Very First Lesson in Homeschool" but it really applies to any parent, homeschooling or not. So if you don't homeschool, still read this. At first it seems to only apply to those with little ones, but keep reading. I so enjoyed the reminder to be faithful in training at any age! Posted by Diane from www.lovetolearn.com
Happy Parenting!
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The very first lesson in homeschool is not how to write your name or recognize your ABC’s. The very first lesson is obedience, because without it, no other lesson works very well. A child must learn to listen and obey. First time. Without reminders, without excuses, without mom counting to 3!
Most of us still feel like teenagers when our first child is suddenly ready for school! We’re trying very hard to keep the crown of authority in parenthood from slipping right off our head and crashing to the ground. It doesn’t fit very well—we don’t feel adequate for the job. But like it or not, we are in charge of our precious children! God has given us that responsibility and, ready or not, we must grown into the position. Mom, you’re in charge!
Children are in tune to family dynamics. They notice when there is some hesitancy in taking charge of the children. If you don’t feel ready to rule the roost, a child is eager and willing to bump you off your throne and climb up there himself! And that is a very scary home to live in, where family life can be run by a 5-year-old. When Daddy leaves for work, Mom is the sole person in charge, and the children need to feel it. It makes life so much more secure for kids to have very distinct expectations! “For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?” (1 Corinthians 14:8)
So, the first lesson of homeschool is the lesson of whose word is law, and who must obey. Teach it well!
I want to assure you that I completely believe in being a benevolent, kind, loving, and compassionate director. But ruler Mom must be, if there is to be peace, order, and learning going on in the home. Mom has to set out the expectations, and teach her children to obey her. If you are a tender mother, this doesn’t come easy. It is more natural to be easy-going, to overlook mild disobedience, and to make excuses for our children (she’s shy, he forgets his manners, he’s a “real boy”, etc.) But just as the little sapling tree grows into a rigid, immovable giant oak, so will your little ones develop habits that are nearly unbreakable by the pre-teen and teenage years. A gentle, insistent and constant nudge in the right direction now will make the man later.
Of course, we want our children to learn academics, but the most important lessons have to do with character training and habits, and learning to control oneself. Be constant in the way you act, Mom. You are modeling what you want your children to act like. Be happy, smile, be a friend—but be in control. Be ultra dependable. Make sure they know that you are not to be meddled with, and that if you say it, it will surely come to pass. Don’t break promises. Better yet, don’t make promises. If you can’t absolutely be certain you are taking them swimming today, don’t promise it. Breaking your word makes your rules less easy to obey (perhaps you’ll change your mind on the rules, too). Create a home environment of trust, security, clear cut rules and consequences. Don’t let the child who whines get their way. Never never let crying, fighting, meanness, impatience or coaxing pay off. Enjoy your children and laugh with them and be their favorite person. Don’t accidentally reward any smidgen of negative behavior (with either your attention, or letting them getting their way). Children sense what is right and fair and they will respect you for not overlooking or brushing off infractions. You must convince them by your lessons and by your own behavior, that good things come to those who behave, and obey Mom and the family rules. When you have done this, not only will they be great students, but they will be good family members that you enjoy being around, and eventually good citizens and emissaries for Christ!
I watched the elephants when I was a young mother, and they influenced me greatly. The elephant mother is quite peaceful and even-tempered. She moves slowly and doesn’t get easily agitated. All goes perfectly well until her baby misbehaves! I watched a movie about elephants walking across the savannah in Africa. They were moving steadily along, in line, with other elephants, when a baby elephant stepped out of the line, wandering the other direction. He only got a couple of steps away, when suddenly, Mother Elephant powerfully reached out with her trunk and slapped the baby back into line. The baby was stunned, but by the time he recovered and looked up, the mother was back to her peaceful steady self. No hard feelings. No lectures. No grudges. No frowns. Just immediate consequences that a baby could easily learn to avoid. I was impressed.
This kind of discipline seemed so healthy to me, that I tried to be that mother elephant for my kids. Mom is happy, smiling, playful, and easy to be with. No nagging. No lectures. No frowning especially! Then when the child moves out of line, she acts swiftly to correct it, never raising her voice, but making perfectly sure that her child knows exactly what is expected and that what he did was not okay. Then immediately, it is back to sunshine, acceptance, love, and a happy mood. No good is done by being in a bad mood, harboring ill feelings, drawing out punishment, or repeating lectures. Children are learning, they are practicing, and we should expect them to push the limits and try out breaking the rules. To see if they really are rules and if the consequences really will happen. That is how they learn. If it never, ever pays to disobey, they will learn more quickly. The children will stop fighting—because you have engineered it so the consequences are just not worth it. They won’t have to be told twice, because they know after you say it once, if they don’t move to action, you’ll be right there, making sure they do just what you asked them to, and there will be consequences. Eventually, all you have to do is just “look” like you are going to get up and they’ll run to obey. My kids laugh about that at my house. If I made a sudden move, the children all would hop to. This has been a very effective way to parent, and to get cooperation in the home.
Every child needs to feel that Mom is their best friend, and always on their side. Wouldn’t life be lonely and frightening without that? I tried to never put enmity between us—it was important for me that my child knew I was always on his side, commiserating with him that he had to live with the consequence of breaking the law. I wanted my children to know that I had to keep the rules too, and that we were hand-in-hand in life, trying to learn to live the rules and not suffer the consequences. I felt bad when he didn’t obey, not mad at him, but sad that he had to live with the consequence, because I truly felt that way. I cried with him. I wanted my child to know that my love extended to compassion for him suffering the consequence of disobedience. I often set the timer, and used the timer as the enemy, rather than me being at odds with my child: “Oh no! Hurry and get ready, it is going to ring and then we won’t be able to play a game before bed! Hurry, hurry–I want to play with you!”
As children learn to obey you, things will run so much more smoothly and more happily. Homeschool will be a pleasure—time you share with your best friends, to learn and do and enjoy together. It will cease to be so much effort or fight to make kids do what they are supposed to. Cooperation turns a job into joy.
Obedience. The most important lesson God wants us to learn here on earth is to obey Him. The very first lesson that children need to learn in the home is to obey you, who God has placed at their head. It makes for a very happy family life.

Formula For Happy Kids!

Great parenting advice! Something I need to be reminded of often.~g

Posted by Diane from www.lovetolearn.com

I just had my dinner date dampened. My husband took me out to my favorite Chinese restaurant, where we were sitting enjoying our meal when a mother with a little boy and a baby entered the restaurant. She had a friend with her and no sooner had they been seated did the drama began:
“Sit down, Tommy! Sit down right now! If you don’t sit down, I am going to put you in a highchair!” Although she was across the restaurant from our table, she was loud enough that I couldn’t ignore what was happening. Tommy continued to jump on the booth seat, next to his mother’s friend, while his mother scowled at him. I wondered if the friend was going to enjoy her dinner.
“Tommy, I told you to stop jumping. Tommy, TOMMY! Stop jumping and sit down right now or you aren’t going to get any food.”
“Tommy, TOMMY! You sit down right now or I won’t let you get a soda.” I have not seen the mother smile yet.
“Tommy, you need to sit down right now. . .stop jumping! if I have to tell you again, you’ll be sitting in the car.”
. . . . TOMMY!
Well, I won’t torture you any longer. It was not a pleasant thing to observe. I told my husband I needed to blog. Poor friend who is along for the miserable evening. I feel sorry for her. Poor mother! Life isn’t very fun for her. She’ll get “frown lines” while she is still young. But, most of all, POOR, poor child being nagged to death. I don’t want to see the future, when he is 13 and twice her strength. It won’t be a pretty sight.
With Ammon turning 19 this year, we’ve got 6 of our kids launched, and just one left to go. My 7th, Louisa, is just 14 years old . . . I can finally begin to see the finish line of child raising off in the distance. Parenting is the most difficult, overwhelming, monumental challenge I’ve faced in life. And the most thrilling, joyous, and meaningful one too! We struggle to learn, we do our best, and we hope and pray it will be enough. It is a huge job to raise a family. When they are all grown, I will miss having a house full of life, full of kids!
When I was pregnant with my first baby, I was a senior in college at a big university. I was used to research, so I began the confusing and conflicting study of child discipline. After several months of serious study, one day I began to sob amidst my stacks of books. This was not like math, where formulas always gave consistent results. This study was full of conflicting opinions. For every theory, there was an opposite theory, just as firmly supported. One said “spank”. The other said “don’t spank”. One said “structure”. The other said “flow with it”. The family scientists were all of differing opinions. They all had research and data, but how to interpret that information was a mystery. When I asked friends, their opinions were all over the board. That’s when I began my occupation as a desperate praying mother. You get more results that way!
There’s a million things learned by parenting. I think most of it is for the parents’ benefit and training, as much as for the children. What does it take to be a good parent? If I could put it in a nutshell, though, here is what I think is most important:
1. Be playful!
2. Be trustworthy!
3. Take charge!
Be Playful!Everyone craves fun! Playfulness is a most delightful trait in a parent. I think parents get too scowly, too serious, too boring. Smile and be affectionate. Laugh a lot! If you are playful, you’ll get lots more cooperation. It is so much more fun to do chores to bouncy music or have races to see who can finish this or that first. Silly things are so delightful to children: like coming to breakfast with a wig on! Or spontaneous things like suddenly deciding to jump in the car and take off on an outing with 5 minutes notice.
Why not? Being playful makes kids see you as a happy companion, rather than a finger-shaking grouch.
Be Trustworthy!Be trustworthy. Kids are dependent on us for everything and being dependable is basic to their well-being. Make sure meals are on time, be there to pick them up on time—do what you say you will do. This alone creates security in a child. So much of life is unpredictable, but if you are trustworthy, your child will be stable.
I once was in a carpool with a mother who just didn’t show up to pick the kids up on time. These were teens in a play practice that got out at 9 PM. It was dark outside and the theater locked its doors and everyone went home after the practice, leaving our girls standing on the curb waiting, waiting, waiting. It didn’t take me long to realize that carpool wasn’t going to work, but I finally understood the very nervous, flighty jumpiness that the children in that family exhibited. They just couldn’t depend on their mother, good person though she was. And that non-trustworthiness shook their foundation.
Being dependable starts when a child is newly born. They need to learn that you will help them cope with life—that they will be fed, cared for, comforted, and that their own needs will not overwhelm them, but will be met by you, their loving parent. As they grow, trustworthiness means you will always, always, ALWAYS do what you say you will. If you say you will not let them have dessert until they have eaten their food, or that they have to sit in the high chair, or that they have to wear a coat outside, or that they must come first time you call, you had better mean it. Because every time you break your own word, you lose respect in your child’s eyes. They learn that you lie, that you say things that you don’t really mean, and that therefore, you can’t truly be trusted.
As my parenting years increased, I ended up making few edicts because I knew I had to follow through and make it happen. Eventually I learned by hard experience not to be a liar, and tried to carefully calculate what I said, and only lay down the law on the things truly worth battling over. I was far from a perfect parent, but I did learn that the more trustworthy we can be in following through on our word, the happier and more secure our children will be.
Take Charge!There is no more insecure feeling that to realize you are on a plane without a pilot, or in an army without a general, or worst of all, in a family without a parent in command. Take charge! Children need it so much. The waffling, softy parent is scary to me. Because I was one—once—and I saw the damage it did.
Seeing that, my main task in raising little ones was to teach them first-time obedience to me. We practiced it together, rewarded them for it, drilled it, and told stories about it. God expects our obedience. Parents stand in the place of God to their very young children, leading them to God. How can children ever learn to respect a heavenly parent if you have not taught them to respect and obey their earthly parent?
If you say it is time to put your pajamas on, make sure it happens. Don’t repeat your command. Don’t beg and nag and negotiate. Be non-negotiable! If mommy says it is time to put on your pajamas, the kids better know that she’ll be behind that, following up on it, making it happen and ready to counter any resistance. So, Mom, that means you better be willing to do that before making any idle requests. And you can’t say it twice without weakening your authority—so get eye-contact, get their attention before you make a command. And be prepared to “check their work” right away and make sure it is done, even if you have to dress them yourself.
This may not feel like you are being “nice”, but it is much, much nicer for a child to be secure, to know that mom is in charge, to know that she is trustworthy and dependable and unyielding. It makes life a safe place. Kids should not be able to direct the affairs of the family by their whining, tantrums or refusing to obey. If a child feels like they have their hands on the steering wheel, no one feels safe that the family car is not going to careen off a cliff!
Especially, don’t forget the playful part. Promise some fun—”I’ll start a story in 5 minutes and you’ll get to choose it if you are here with your pajamas on!” Be happy, smile and show lots of affection. Be tender. But once you have said it, don’t let 5 minutes pass without getting up off the sofa and seeing to it that you are obeyed.
The formula: if Mom=a playful, trustworthy, authority figure, then childhood= a safe, secure and happy time + children grow to = emotionally healthy, happy adults.
That’s the formula I believe works for raising good kids. Best success!

A New Day

Yesterday I posted an article about the mother's attitude influencing the mood of her family. So i decided that today, no matter how i felt, I would choose to have a good attitude. I actually got less sleep than normal last night and today was a terrific day. Since i wasn't complaining about how tired i was, my children weren't complaining either. Since i didn't whine about how much they whined, they didn't whine. Since i didn't talk ugly to them, they didn't talk ugly to each other. Amazing, I mean really amazing! Sometimes i just need to be knocked in the head and reminded of things i already know. I smiled more, loved on my children more, and felt happier all because i chose to ignore my own bad attitude and be more joyful. How simple yet revolutionary!

Dispelling Gloom

Just what I needed to hear. It seems that most of our days are like this lately. I have entered the very tired phase of pregnancy (gettin' older!) and my attitude has rubbed off on my children. It seems like all that goes on at our house is fighting, complaining, and whining. Thanks to this post by Diane of www.lovetolearn.com I am reminded that my attitude, whether gloomy or happy, affects my whole family! What conviction.~g

It was one of those days. The sun never came out. It was cloudy, cold and gray, with the foreboding of a storm. The baby was pulling at her ears and crying—sick again. The little ones squabbled over every imaginable injustice. Homeschool was far from “homey”. I was without a car, but with a long list of errands that had to be done. My scripture study and planning time had to be set aside, as the baby wouldn’t nap but wanted to be held. Laundry was backing up so badly that everyone was wondering if they’d have clean clothes tomorrow. I could go on, telling you my woes. Bleak, very bleak.
Things could have gone from bad to worse, but I had one of those rare experiences in which I saw in glaring reality that we create our own happiness by our attitude. As dinner time approached, I had even more to gripe about, but I put on some fun, lively music and involved the children in work. We cleaned up the living room, set the table, and did chores that had never been finished in the morning’s awful gloom. No one was smiling or eager, yet. But I sang along to the music and rallied the children to make a super dinner. We peeled apples and made an apple crisp. Then we dove into making casseroles. We set the table with fancy goblets. The children took turns rocking the baby in the midst of the busy preparations with the upbeat music playing.
By the time Daddy and my teenage boys came home from work late (of course, it always happens on those days!), the dining room was bright and full of delicious smells. Immediately they picked up on the happy spirit and willingly helped with the final meal preparations. We enjoyed being together and no one even complained that the dinner was over an hour late.
A small thing. How different it could have been. I felt I had plenty of reason to complain.

Most wives and mothers come to learn before too long that their attitude is contagious. I have often wanted to moan, “Can’t I just have a bad day without everyone else borrowing it?”. It seems that the family members pick up on mother’s attitude and transfer it into their own personal feelings about the day. If I am overworked, my husband feels he has worked far too hard too. If I am too tired to make dinner, every other member of my family seems to be exhausted! I can’t even sit down during chore time without finding myself surrounded by others who just need to “sit down a minute!”. And so it is with having a happy countenance. It passes on to each child and to our husbands like wildfire. Even a conscious effort can’t prevent it from transferring!
The woman is the center of the home, just as the hub of a wheel. She cannot have a bad day without influencing the whole family. And just the same, her cheerfulness or enthusiasm spreads quickly through the family.
How long and how much effort does it take to turn and look your loved ones in the eye and smile when they come home? Such a little thing. How much energy does it take to for a moment look at their sweet faces and say something positive to your little ones? What a pittance of a price. What keeps us from doing these things? Preoccupation? Laziness? What?
Victor Hugo, in his novel, Toilers of the Sea, speaks of the heroine Deruchette: “Her presence lights the home; her approach is like a cheerful warmth; she passes by, and we are content; she stays awhile and we are happy. Is it not a thing of divine, to have a smile which, none know how, has the power to lighten the weight of that enormous chain that all the living in common drag behind them? Deruchette possessed this smile; we may say that this smile was Deruchette herself.”
Later, he philosophizes: “There is in this world no function more important than that of being charming—to shed joy around, to cast light upon dark days, to be the golden thread of our destiny and the very spirit of grace and harmony. Is not this to render a service?”I believe there can be no more important job than to cast cheer on dark days, spreading sunshine, and lifting those who live with you, and who work with you. It seems a small thing, but those moments add to make up a lifetime, and an eternity. A happy attitude draws others like a magnet. They enjoy the feeling. They long to be around it. Mothers, we have so much influence and power to dispel gloom!
(Written years ago, when my children were younger. It still works the same way!)

Better Parent or Better Disciple?

by www.nourishingheartandhome.com

Having several small children (and a couple older) has really made me face some things in my life. There are a multitude of parenting books out there...many are very very good too...but I was finding that as I tried to "implement" whatever technique was in the latest parenting book I was reading with my kids, I still didn't see the fruit that I wanted to see. Oh, I might have seen some good fruit at first, but then we would fall back into bad habits, etc.

I think I am finally seeing something that the Lord has been trying to show me all along. While these parenting books are very good, they do not replace what I, as a parent, need to "be" in front of my kids. The student is only as good as his master. The Lord is showing me that I need to not worry about being a perfect parent, and focus on becoming a better follower of Christ. As I learn and grow and become more like Him, my children will follow as they seek after the same things. I am learning that in all my striving, I have been striving after the wind. I was trying to hold before my children an ideal that I myself was not living up to.

For example....
I hear my children yelling at each other...then remember how I have raised my voice in frustration with them.
I wish for my children to have a daily time in the Word...then I look at myself and see my lack of discipline in this area at times.
I desire for my children to have a servant heart...then I see how very selfish I have been at times.
I get frustrated when my children don't obey me...then I ask myself if I am obeying what the Lord is showing me.
I want my children to be more disciplined in certain areas...then I see that I lack discipline in some of the very same areas.
I try to teach my children patience...then I think of the times I have snapped at them in impatience.

I think you get the picture. I am not trying to say that there is not a place for aggressive and intentional parenting. But I think that I have been striving after the wrong thing. I have been after a "formula", an "answer" to all parenting problems, a "fix-all"...when what I really need to be striving after is becoming more like Him...a more faithful disciple...a more loving follower of Christ.

I look forward to the days ahead...because I know that He has all the answers! I am ever so anxious to follow hard after Him...to allow Him to grow me and change me into the woman He wants me to be...and in the process becoming the mother and wife that He wants me to be. As I reflect on this past year and look toward the new year, the Lord is making it clear to me where my focus should be...it should be on Him...on obeying Him...on spending time with Him...on becoming more like Him.Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness...for your love...for your patience...for Your continued working in this imperfect vessel. I look forward to the new year and all You have in store for us.

Funnest and Baddest

In the past I have asked my children at dinner time what was the best and worst part of their day. I always got various answers but not great conversation and heard more whining over who was talking first than anything. I recently read about those (ungrammatical) words in the title in an email from Diane Hopkins from Love to Learn. Diane posted that she asked her children what was the funnest and baddest part of their day at bed time each night all through their childhoods. So I thought I'd try it this way.

For whatever reason, the kids seem to grasp the question better using funnest and baddest. These words are more understandable for a little child. Every time I ask, they have been able to answer quickly and with great excitement. The best part is that I get to connect with each one individually every night even if it's only for a few minutes. They don't have to compete for my attention as at the table or talk over each other. They have my full attention for a few minutes and they love it. They are sharing things with me that i wouldn't have thought made them happy or even sad. I love getting another opportunity to tap into their little minds and hearts.

One night I was getting frustrated because getting in bed was dragging on longer than I wanted it to. I didn't really feel like spending the extra few minutes with each one because i just wanted them to hurry up and get to sleep. I choose to deny my selfish flesh and ask the questions anyway. Amazingly, I left their room feeling calm and peaceful and had forgotten all of my frustrations by just giving them a little bit of my time.

Tonight as I put the boys to bed, Cody was quick to ask me first what my funnest part of the day was before I could ask him. The smile on his face and the joy in his heart was priceless! It's amazing how a little effort on our part can fill their hearts.

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PS-Claire is really asleep in the picture above. She was so tired after a fun day out on the water slide that she couldn't even stay awake long enough to finish brushing her teeth. One time she fell asleep in my mom's arms while eating a corn dog. Whenever she stirred, she would keep eating the corn dog, then fall asleep again. It was hillarious. Childhood is Precious!

Socialization???

This picture is from a month ago during the height of dewberry (blackberry) season. We love to hunt all over our property eating as much as we can a saving a few. One day the boys came to me with a 3/4 full small cup of berries and informed me that they cost $1. After the shock wore off, considering all the years of pricked and stained fingers i endured to share berries with them, I settled on $.75 (since it wasn't full) and applauded their entrepreneurial skills. Small businesses have to start somewhere! Just a side note.

on to my real post....


This is part of an email from Heart-to-Heart with Diane who owns http://www.lovetolearn.com/ -a great homeschool resource. I subscribe to her blog and always enjoy what wisdom she has to share!





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I read in the news that a new study has proven that the mother* in a family has enormous power to socialize the children. It's not the school, it's not the parents' education or income level, it's not the opportunities that child has for extra classes or summer camps that matters. It is the way the mother interacts with the children that makes a difference—a difference that lasts a lifetime. The results of the study show that mothers who point out to their children, from as young as 2 years old, the way other people are feeling in any circumstance helps that child to think of others, become more compassionate, more sensitive, and more "socialized". A child who has been taught to say "you go first", who has been taught to think about how his actions affect others, grows into a caring and compassionate adult. By age 12, children who have been trained by their mother to perceive the needs of others are already exemplifying adult levels of socialization! This confirms that experience that I have had in my homeschool. It seems by about the age of 12 years, homeschooled children are socially capable, able to handle themselves confidently around adults, able to befriend the lonely and watch out for the needs of other people.





When I was a girl on a family vacation, while driving through the forest I saw a billboard that had been put up by a Christian camp. The word "J-O-Y" appeared most visible, but as we drove closer, the message became clear: J for Jesus, O for others, Y for yourself. In that order. It made an impression on me. I realized that was the formula for joy! That stuck with me through the years and right into mothering. I had never been taught that directly, and it was like a revelation to me!





"Socialization" is usually the main concern others express when we tell them we are homeschooling. I know my mother still worries about it. I think as homeschooling moms, we innately understand that the socialization of our children really lies within us, and how we approach life, and how much the "J-O-Y" formula is a part of our daily living.





On Sunday at church, my 19 yr. old daughter and I were walking alongside an elderly lady with a cane when a teenage girl rushed hurriedly past. My daughter quietly remarked to me that if she herself had done that, even at age 3, she knows I would have pulled her out of the way and told her to think how frightening it must feel to the elderly lady to have someone rush by, threatening her stability. I am sure that teenage girl didn't even have a clue. If your children are at school all day around children their own age, you have less time and opportunity to teach them to think of how others feel. If you don't talk to them about caring for others, the result is that they are less socialized.





Academics are one part of homeschooling, and we rejoice when that goes well. But socializing our children to be caring, sensitive and wonderful people is far more important. Thank goodness homeschooling gives us the time, and the mindset to do so.





Hurrah for homeschooling!





*Note: unfortunately the study could not research the effect of a father on the socialization of his children, because they could not find a sufficient number of fathers who spent enough time with their children to make a significant difference.

Children are a Gift from the Lord!

Wow- I am again so blessed by what Nancy Campbell has to say. Even though we only have 4 children I get the many of the questions she lists below all the time. My favorite response to "You have your hands full" is "I'd rather have them full than empty!" This usually catches most people off guard and they respond "I guess you're right."

It's always my goal to have strangers look at us and ask themselves "what is different about them?" Oh, they may think we look different, dress different, act different....but hopefully what lingers in their mind is that something is different, and that is my point! We are called to be different from our culture. Romans 12:2 says, "Do not copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think." We are to purposely be different. When we dress like everyone one else, how can they see Christ in our lives. Unfortunately today, the way women dress is very unmodest and masculine. We have to look different from them. For me, that means wearing a longer skirt and not too tight shirt. It may be something else for you, but either way, we must not copy the worldly way of dressing. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 says this about the way women dress, "I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do."
There are many more areas that we can purposely look different from this world. Ask the Lord to show you the areas you may need to change and he will!

I love this quote from Evangeline Howard, who just happens to be one of Mrs. Campbells daughters.
"Freedom mothering...it's not about getting out of it, it's about getting into it! Taking the world for Christ one birth at a time!"

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DISARMING THE GAINSAYERS

Zechariah 8:12 (NLT), "I believe, therefore have I spoken."


"Who am I? Have you sighed these words on your difficult mothering days?

It's a good question, for if you don't know who you are, you will flounder in life. Fortunately, it's not a hard question to answer. God created you uniquely, like nobody else on earth, with special gifts that no one else has. But, transcendentally, you are a mother. You have an inborn urge to nurture. If you don't want to mother children, you will find yourself mothering something else, maybe your pet dog or cat. It is distinctive to us as females.

God created you with a womb and with breasts to nurture and nourish life. Why not embrace who you are? Be the best at who God created you to be instead of running from it. Start enjoying it. Disarm the feminists! Disown the lies! Destroy the deceptions and delight in motherhood.

How? By exploding with joy. You have the privilege of bringing children into the world for God's purposes, children who will live forever. By telling the world you are proud to be a mother. Away with inferiority that's a lie! Away with feeling insignificant; that's not true! Away with the thoughts that you were called to do something more important; that's a humanistic lie!

Next time someone asks you what you do in life, beam with joy and shout, "I am a mother! I have the most blessed career in the world."

The next time someone sees you with all your children in tow and asks, "Are all these yours?" put on a bigger smile, from ear to ear, and shout, "Yes, I am so blessed." Or, "Yes, we love children so much we are hoping for more." Or, "Yes, we're just getting started!"

Or you could even say, "Yes, they are. But where are your children?"

"Oh, they're' at school. We could only afford to have two."

"How very sad," you reply. "You must often feel bored and lonely. We live such a full and exciting life." Give another beaming smile and leave them speechless, ready to disarm the next person who makes a negative comment.

Going out with all your children will become such fun. It will be even more exciting as you train your children for adverse comments about family. When you have answered your critic, the children can also put on their beaming smiles and all say in unison, "God bless you, Madam."

What if someone says, "DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO STOP HAVING CHILDREN?" Or "Are you planning to have any more?"
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With a smile and twinkle in your eyes, you could answer, "It's conceivable."

What if some dear soul comments, "You have your hands full."

"We're working on it," you reply. "We are blessed with five; only five more to go!"

Put your shoulders back. Lift up your head. Put a big smile on your face and disarm the anti-child advocates. You'll begin to change the world around you! You'll be speaking on the behalf of God who loves life and loves children. You'll be destroying the deceptions of Satan who hates life and seeks to destroy it.

What a mission. Have fun.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

"I thank you, Lord, that you created me to be a mother. Help me to shine with your glory and lift up your truth wherever I go."

The Battle is ON!

I read somewhere that if we as parents, who love and care the most about our children, don't pray for them, then who will?

Well, maybe grandparents or really good friends on occassion, but ultimately it is our job as their parents.

Recently, the Lord has been teaching me what it means to be a prayer warrior on my family's behalf. As i have been pondering this and learning about this, i've noticed the spiritual warfare beginning. Satan likes it when we are complacent and mainstream, that's where he wants us, not making any waves. Only when we choose to go against that, does the battle begin. And it is so real!

To fill you in a little, ever since Owen was born, i have felt strongly that the Lord is going to use him for His glory in some way. Of course, i have no idea how that will look, but my friend Kim told me that we, as his parents, have an even greater responsiblity to train and guide him in his early years. This way when the Lord calls him, he will be ready to answer (as it should be with any of our children).

So recently, it was like a light bulb went off when the Lord showed me why Owen has been our most challenging child. It's not because he just likes irritating us or making things difficult, but because Satan wants him and is willing to do all he can to divert him, and us, from training and disciplining him the way God wants us to.

Owen wants so much to do good and be "good" but he will honestly look at me and say from his heart, "Mommy, I just don't know how to do it" or "why can't I just be good?" It almost breaks my heart to hear this, but I now realize that the turmoil in his heart is a raging battle between good and evil, even at his young age. He really can't do it himself. It is only going to happen when he surrenders his life to Christ and lately, he has been asking lots of questions about that. However, I know that I am to gently and lovingly and constantly redirect him to the Lord every single time he does something wrong. Even when its the 20th time that day, i am to faithfully train or discipline him again and again.

Those who know Owen, know he has a wonderful, funny, sweet side to him also, which thankfully is what most people see, but for some reason, he is the one we struggle with most. When he is happy, he is such a joy to be around, but when he gets upset, hold on tight because it's going to be a bumpy ride!

(The pictures above were taken and compiled by Amber Butler Photography. She tries to catch children in their own and of course, Owen showed his own to her. I will always love these pictures! She has lots of pictures on her website of our children at http://www.giggleboxphotography.com/ that are great!)

Back to my original story.

I have heard it said, that dreams involving snakes, can represent a struggle with satan. Every time i have a dream with a snake (which thankfully isn't often), it is chasing me and i can't get away. I wake up feeling as if the dream was so real that i have a strong hatred towards snakes. I can't even look at pictures of snakes and am constantly on the look out for them since we live in the country. (I will spare you and myself from a snake picture here!)

So, as i have been praying consistently for my family, another snake dream came recently. I share this not because i want you all to think i have really fallen off the deep end, but to show you how amazing God is and that He can speak to us even through a dream.

Here's my dream:

My children and i were all together somewhere, i don't know where, but it was a room. A snake aggressivly began chasing and striking at my children. I was running after it, not afraid of it, but so determined to protect my babies. However, it struck at Cody and got him on the leg, but he was ok. I reached down and grabbed it by the back of the head and began trying to squeeze it in my hand. When i realized i couldn't kill it that way, i pushed it down on the ground with my hand and then took my heel and crushed it to death.

For the first time, I beat the snake in my dream! I didn't wake up scared and exhausted from running from it, but i woke up feeling victorious!

That i could win the spiritual battle for my children's souls through prayer and sound, biblical parenting!

That they belong to Jesus Christ and are His only, bought with a price, His chosen people!

That Satan can't have my children's minds, thoughts, dreams, or actions anymore!

They belong to God!

I also was immediately reminded after waking up of how similar my dream was to the excerpt in Genesis where God cursed Satan after tempting Eve:

"From now on, you and the woman will be enemies, and your offspring and her offspring will be enemies. He will crush your head and you will strike his heel." Genesis 3:15

The footnote in my NLT bible says this:

"Satan is our enemy. He will do anything he can to get us to follow his evil, deadly path. The phrase 'you will strike his heel' refers to Satan's repeated attempts to defeat Christ during his life on earth. 'He will crush your head' foreshadows Satan's defeat when Christ rose from the dead. A strike on the heel is not deadly, but a crushing blow to the head is. Already God was revealing his plan to defeat Satan and offer salvation to the world through his Son, Jesus Christ."

I don't know for sure what it all means, but I do know that God will be victorious! It doesn't mean that there won't be struggles or trials or even temptations, but in the end, He will win!

So all you parents out there, PRAY, PRAY, PRAY!

It's is so important!

Your children's eternity depends on it!

It's not hard to do, just commit to doing it everyday. Right now for me, I pray specifically for this every night when i sit down in the rocking chair to nurse Kate before bed. It can be when you're driving, or taking a shower, or making dinner. It doesn't matter when, just faithfully commit to a time and do it!

Sowing Seeds of Peace

Seems like every time I read these emails, they are so convicting and worth sharing. Visit Above Rubies (links) for more!

Discipline for Peace

This doesn't sound very peaceful, does it? We often think that if we rock the boat we won't have peace! But the opposite is true. Discipline precedes peace! Read that again. Yes, discipline precedes peace! If your children are playing up, disobeying, being defiant and causing havoc in the home, you won't have any peace. To get peace, you must deal with the disobedience or bad behavior.

One of my favorite Scriptures for parenting is Proverbs 29:17, "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul."

Do you want rest and peace in your home? Don't gloss over disobedience. Deal with the issues. Sow loving but firm discipline for disobedient behavior and you will reap a reward of rest. Many parents have no rest. Their children are a constant hassle to them because they have not been trained. They constantly yell at them but their behavior doesn't change.

It is a joy to watch parents who live a life of rest. I think of my daughter, Evangeline, who has nine children. Her husband, Howard and she have trained their children to respond with instant obedience from the time they were very little. They have never allowed disobedience or defiant behavior. They dealt with it immediately. They have reaped a wonderful reward of rest. Their children, aged from 15 years to 16 months are extraordinarily behaved. They give delight to their parents and everyone who is around them. They can take them anywhere and trust their behavior. Evangeline lives a life of a queen for her children give her no bother.

Hebrews 12:11 reiterates this, "Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but grievous; nevertheless, afterwards it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it."

I was quite taken aback when reading Romans 16:20 recently, "And the God of peace shall bruise Satan under your feet shortly." You would think that when it speaks of God defeating the devil that He would be referred to as the God or War or the Lord of hosts (which is the Lord of the armies of heaven). It will not be a peaceful task to conquer Satan. It will be war and blood and tears. But, no. He is called the God of peace. I am sure this is because there can never be true peace while evil reigns and therefore it is the God of peace who wages war to bring peace.

If you have to have a little war before you have peace, don't be afraid. Covering over things will not bring peace. It is like a festering sore that will not heal until it is totally cleansed.

Keep sowing seeds of peace.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

Soil Test

I was recently reading in a magazine called Homeschool Today when i ran across this statement by the publisher Steve Murphy. He wrote:

"(our prayer is) not that you will read this issue and want to become gardeners, but that after having dirtied your hands in the rich fertilizer of these pages, you'll be reminded that you already are a gardener and that your children are the soil in which you invest your life. Add to that soil daily the rich, life-giving Word of God. Develop a hatred for weeds and rocks. Work it diligently with careful planning and deliberate action. Finally, just as we do with our earthly gardens, watch with anticipation and thank God for his faithfulness when the fruitful harvest comes in."

Wow- another great garden analogy. The Bible refers to gardens and gardening many times in relation to our earthly lives. I encourage you to look some of them up!

This should be the overall picture we have in mind as we walk down the path of parenting and tend the soil of our children's lives. Not how we choose to school them or whether or not they go to college or even how much money we have, but that we richly fertilize a love of God in them. That they see it daily in our actions and words.

So, what does your soil look like? Is it full of weeds and rocks like material things, the love of money, and worldliness or is it full of the fruitfulness and abundance that can only be found in Lord. Do your children know that all that is important is a saving relationship with Jesus Christ, not toys, not movies, not school, not fame or fortune, nothing?

What do you plant in their soil? The fruits of the spirit like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control? Or do you plant greed, selfishness, materialism, glutony, immaturity, disobedience, and rebellion?

We are the gardeners, they are our garden.

Do not let your garden wilt and die! Choose to reap a bountiful harvest!